Thursday
I must say this promises to be a most unusual Schmooze. After an eight and a half hour drive I may have been a bit glazed, but being confronted with the notion of 100 pounds of Silly Putty (Harold Holmes and some cronies actually bought this much) and a potato-shooting bazooka (Bob Ostrander built it and brought it along) all in the period of a couple of hours is pretty exciting!
The talking bird at the reception desk doesn't shut up, whistling at the girls and squawking, "Hello." I tried to teach it to say "Endless Loop," but it didn't seem interested in programming.
Bill Sturgell is hosting the Second Annual Shareware Schmooze, this year with blue tee shirts (the lettering is allegedly done with Elfring Soft Fonts). The gang is arriving - I ran into Eric and Melanie Isaacson as I got to the hotel, and Harold Holmes shook my hand while I was checking in (with a hand full of Silly Putty, very yucky if you're not expecting it). Russ Irwin, Bob Ostrander, Richard Holler, and Tom Guthery are here, along with Gary Elfring and Rosemary West. More will arrive tomorrow, I expect.
Already it looks like we are splitting into two groups as we did last year: the smokers and the non-smokers. I am in the latter group, although I have been known to steam on occasion. The non-smokers took a mystery tour (in other words we had no idea where to go for dinner, so we just started driving) and ended up at a Chinese restaurant called "Wings."
When we got back the Schmoozers were in the hotel lobby (really an atrium, part of
which is set up like a huge living room). People hunkered in for some real schmoozing, but
after my drive I fell asleep, waking up only long enough to trudge to my room and fall
asleep again. So I can't tell you what was said, but I am sure it was fun.
Friday
Actually, I'm a working man, so I got up around seven (late for me) and got breakfast. The only other early soul was Rich Holler, but he was in the smoking section so we waved and smiled. I went upstairs and got a couple of hours of work in, by which time the late to bed/late to rise crowd was up and finishing breakfast.
The non-smoking group went to the Zoo, thanks to Eric Isaacson's uncanny ability to find his way around (and my uncanny ability to turn left when Eric tells me to). Some of the highlights were "Naked Mole Rats," some of the ugliest rats I've ever seen (well I never saw one naked before), and Anableps which are fish that look like Muppets, largely because of their ping pong ball-like eyes. It mainly didn't rain, and Eric and I were much taken with the M&M vending machines. We had an abominable lunch at the zoo and headed back to the hotel for various projects (chats and naps). On the way home we passed the World Headquarters of White Castle (or should I say we slid by it?).
Late afternoon found everyone in the lobby, schmoozing around a big table, telling tales, eating Halloween treats handed out by Gary Elfring, and playing little plastic pinball Halloween games I was handing out. Bob had pulverized some more potatoes for another amazed group of shareware folk, and Rosemary took it upon herself to paint everyone's faces with greasepaint that Gary had brought (well, almost everyone. There were a few stalwart holdouts.
Sixteen or so of us decided to go to an Italian restaurant we discovered last year called Figlios. There was a bit of a wait so the majority followed Bob Ostrander to Barleys, which he knew from the beer connection. I stayed with the Figlios group (or they stayed with me - it was my car), where we had a heavenly Italian dinner. The waitress asked why three (Rosemary, Gary, and Kerry Krueger) of the six of us were painted and then answered her own question as she realized it was Halloween.
On the way home we drove through town, passing the original Wendy's and a veritable
bevy of churches. Bill Sturgell had a get together in his suite, which he had stocked with
chips, beer, and soda. And a good schmooze was had by all.
Saturday
I had my early breakfast and went upstairs for a few hours of work, and was raring to schmooze by about 9:30. This was reasonable, because when I got downstairs the gang was in various stages of breakfast. I joined the non-smokers' table, which expanded a few times as more people came down.
We swapped stories about how to deal with obnoxious telephone solicitors, and Rosemary had the best approach. She says, "I'm a telephone consultant and I get $75 per hour, so if we are to continue this conversation I'll need your name and credit card number." She says this brings solicitation calls to an abrupt halt (I can't wait to get home to try it!).
A few of us also talked about software. Eric Robichaud explained to Harold Holmes how his soon to be released Ovation, a multi-media authoring product, can be used to create programs of different sorts. Eric and I swapped setup program stories, and I told of my horrifying technical support experience where a man who called me for support nearly had a heart attack when I mentioned that we might reinstall Windows on his system (he had willy-nilly deleted part of his system).
Bill asked whether I was writing these reports, and I told him I was, but someone from the smoking group should also write something since I wasn't covering their activities. Bill claimed they just sit around the lobby and chat, and that the non-smoking group is doing more interesting things. Well, I can't attest to that, but I will say that whether it is in the hotel or out and about a good time is being had by all.
The NSG (non-smoking group) went to Mark Pi's, a Chinese restaurant near the hotel, for lunch where we chatted for a couple of hours before returning to the hotel. Then Becky, Eric I, Rosemary and I went over to the Ohio History of Flight museum, a little aviation museum a stone's throw from the hotel. Becky had worked there while going to college, and her great uncle had photographed and helped build a plane that was on display. I was inspired to get my pilot's license renewed (I probably won't), and Eric and Rosemary bought dehydrated astronaut food. The strawberries tasted good, though they had the texture of Styrofoam. They ate the freeze-dried Neapolitan ice cream, but I thought it was too weird. After the meal last night it was hard to think about eating a diet of freeze-dried foods.
By six o'clock people were gathering in the lobby in anticipation of the weekend's one scheduled event: The Independent Shareware Community Awards. Bill was getting the refreshments in place, and rearranging the tables at the front of the meeting room.
Just after seven Bill took the podium and began a charming introduction during which Rosemary stopped him before he told us his life's story (planned, and funny). Rosemary presented the awards in a stunning blue sequined dress, explaining that these awards were for people who didn't necessarily fit in established categories. The committee chose those to be awarded, and then created a category for them. Gary Elfring provided the plaques, actually quite nice ones lettered in (need I say it?) Elfring Soft Fonts.
The recipients were:
Terry Ostrander: Outstanding Volunteer
Russ Irwin: All Around Good Guy
Eric Isaacson: The Only Real Shareware Author
Richard Holler: Leadership Award
Dan Veaner: Unsung Hero of Shareware
Rosemary's introductions made it fun to guess who the recipient would be. In most cases
you couldn't guess until the last line or two. In my case I was convinced she was
describing Gary Elfring (I still think it fits). Gary had made one more award, and thought
it would be amusing to have Rosemary award it to herself, but after an awkward pause I
stood up and spoke her praises extemporaneously for a few moments. She handed me the
plaque so I could hand it to her.
Rosemary West: First Lady of Shareware
The door prizes were truly amazing and fun. They included two hundred fifty 5 1/4 inch floppy disks, two MS DOS development kits, and an unopened box of 8" SSDD 3M floppy disks. Eric Robichaud immediately set up a target game with the 5 1/4" inch disks, using a "Vote No on Issue 2" sign left from a group who had used the room earlier. As disks flew wildly, Becky Robichaud began taking them apart and making things (I liked the "Xena The Warrior Princess" costume she made from the media parts of two disks) and everyone found new uses for write protect stickers. Around 7:55 Bob Ostrander shouted, "Let's trash the place!" (We didn't, but I am reporting this at Gary Elfring's request. I must also report that no one in the room could remember the verses to the "The Cat Came Back The Very Next Day" song. If you know them would you email me?)
Some of us went for dinner after the awards, while others schmoozed, rested, took Mylanta, or otherwise celebrated the day. The lobby was overrun by a convention of teenagers, but there were safe spots where schmoozing could take place. Naturally more schmoozing went on through the night, but the non-smoking group, at least, called it an early night before midnight.
The next morning I noticed a sign in the elevator listing the events in the conference
rooms, and noticed ours was listed as the "Schmooze Awards."
Sunday
Sunday morning folks straggled into breakfast. Everyone had flight arrangements or road maps on their minds. We all packed our bags (and silly putty and potatoes) and most people were gone by noon time. I spent most of the 8 1/2 hour drive listening to a John LeCarre novel on tape and made it home for a late supper.
I have always thought it is amazing that with a modem and a phone line I can have an
international business from my little office in the woods. It is almost more amazing that
you can make such good friends and business contacts with the same equipment. It only
takes two wires to open up the whole world these days. And an occasional Schmooze.
Dan Veaner
EmmaSoft Software Company, Inc.